Losing

Loser.
I curse,
a word so bitter
a lemon becomes sweet,
and defeat,
is a burning hole
that scolds my skin.
They grin,
knowing my failure
will spread like wildfire,
and my desire to perfect myself,
is nothing more than fantasy.

I am not perfect,
nor do I claim to be,
you see, I have my flaws,
the cause of which is losing.
Losing, rather,
my mind choosing,
not to win,
I’m restrained,
Though I’ve feigned being strong
for long enough to know:
I can do better.

Motivation,
at all the wrong moments.
I find strength when I’m not needy,
but I’m greedy when I’m weak.
And I wish I could be stronger,
but I have branded myself ‘freak’.

I didn’t ask for laziness,
I don’t like being shy,
I’m moody and intolerant.
I’ve never questioned why.

Why is my weakness open,
for all the world to see,
yet only I believe it,
my biggest weakness, me.

~ Andrew
Wow. I felt so into this poem. I’ve been so brought down by my own shortcomings that I’ve struggled to motivate myself. Every hurdle is too high to overcome for me yet in poetry I push myself further.
I must have linked this one before but in the meantime while the poetry count is low there are very few poems to link to, in a year or so it’ll be almost impossible to find the best poem (I hope): Cracks in the Mirror
Anyway, thanks for reading, I have a special upload coming out in a few hours (after this post which I am scheduling for Sunday morning on Saturday night as I know I will oversleep or something), it’s a bit of a venture out of my comfort zone and an attempt to improve my writing skills beyond the comfort of rhyme. I’m giving this post a good amount of time to fester on the homepage as this is a predominantly poetry blog and I will probably only do something different every Sunday as an 8th post of the week, see how long that lasts before I become lazy again :p

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