The Many Rhymes of Valentine’s

(Note: Ignore the last 5 lines if you don’t like crude failed attempts to be funny)

Assisting cheesy poems,
since the age of Romans past,
St Valentine, his name defines,
the love that touches fast..
and faster still,
till you are mine,
my sweetest darling,
you are an angel,
so divine,
I love you, darling,
The world moves slow,
when you are mine,
be my eternal,

Yet for us loners,
hiding boners,
The world just doesn’t understand,
That for our date, me masturbate,
a night spent with one hand.

~ Andrew
Thought I’d have a stab at all the couples of the world. Twice as effective for half the effort :p Enjoy Gravity Of Love also. Inspiration for this came from ‘Sorry Jack’ by Scratch 21 so I’ll thank him for the last 5 lines, was going to avoid being crude but decided I need to be an adult author and take responsibility for my immature mind.
Ignore the last 5 lines and you have somewhat of a generic anti-Valentine’s day poem. I’ll leave them there but I’m thinking it was a mistake to have them in the first place.


9 responses to “The Many Rhymes of Valentine’s

  1. Crude but effective! Sometimes poetry is stark & unpleasant & raw & gritty. I know this was a ‘bit out there’ & it would offend most…
    With all the ‘hype’ over Valentine’s Day & being a ‘couple’ I GET why you wrote this piece….
    I don’t think you should change a word of it…..or let the parents read it either Andrew, hahaha!

    Liked by 1 person

      • I hear you about ‘burying’ the questionable poems… not destroy it Andrew. Just ti=uck it away somewhere safe.
        Then when you read it 20-30 yrs from now you will have a good laugh…..
        I still think it is a good poem..


      • Well I’ve never been a fan of crude, at least not in writing. I always find written crudeness (and profanity) so stark. When crude words are spoken they evaporate and are easily forgotten but as soon as you write them down they become immortal.

        I liked the message of the poem though. Valentine’s day can be such a sad, lonely and disappointing day, even when you’re in a relationship. There’s all this pressure to be romantic and plan the perfect day and so much room to fail. I’ve never liked it until having kids. They make it fun.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Lesson learned. It’s not something I want to be remembered for (Crude, dry and bad humour that is) but it was aimed at a more immature audience than I usually write for.. I try to be thought provoking but today I just wasn’t feeling deep and thoughtful at all


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