Verbal Abuse

I grew up an adjective,
Nothing more than description.
A depiction of every wrong in me
and everything bad
that I couldn’t see.

And these words were like glue,
they stuck to my mind
even though they weren’t true

They are the voices in my head,
a constant reminder
of everything said.

Every word to insult me,
every weakness I show,
are my bones when you break them,
are the stones that you throw.

I was abused by some words,
that exceeded my age,
too naive to find meaning
but it felt like a cage
where the bars were cold steel
just as cold as my heart,
all I’ve known
is the ways
words can tear us apart.

And I’m sick of waking up
to the same words ringing
the dictionary of disaster
as the chorus is singing
and our tears become rivers
which flow into streams
drowned by the words
which manifest in our dreams.

Today.
I am no longer defined
by narrow minded hatred
No longer bound
by a thorny chain
I destroyed their roots
so only I would remain

I am not limited
to the words
I heard in my youth.
I am the definition of bravery
and the seeker of truth.

~ Andrew

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9 responses to “Verbal Abuse

  1. I think when we are young we absorb so much; whether positive or negative. I remember how much my Nanna & Zaida & Father loved me. They would tell me regularly. My Nanna would always make such a fuss over me as if I was the centre of her Universe. It was a fab feeling.
    To go from that & my loving Father to a Mother who was mentally unwell & said the most awful things & would get abusive physically it ripped my world apart.
    By the time I was in mid 20’s I had NO idea who I was….
    Thankfully over the last 28+ years I have figured out my identity…..
    We have to hold on tightly to the positive spoken about us! That is only what counts!
    Sherri-Ellen

    Liked by 1 person

  2. How anyone can use negative words especially as someone is growing up is beyond me. You write well, you are obviously intelligent so what the heck were the people trying to bring you down thinking? It shows a level of petty mindfulness that the people trying to break you are ignorant. The fact you have grown and are capable of vocalising your emotion on this shows who has become the better person. A very strong poem that many will be able to empathise with.

    Liked by 1 person

      • There will be those who ride your coat tails while trying to bring you down. The only standards that matter though are you own, Often we want to sink to their level but you can rise to be the better person.

        Like

  3. Powerful poem Andrew!
    Sometimes people do not realize just how much words can hurt & scar & even destroy.
    I was told from the time I was 11 until I was 17 that I was ‘stupid, worthless & wouldn’t amount to anything.’ It did irreparable damage altho’ I did manage to put myself back together fairly well. It is hard to remember those words & know someone I was supposed to trust & respect said them to me daily…..
    AS for you: An amazing & gifted young man! Never doubt yourself Andrew! You are a good person!!! Totally!
    Sherri-Ellen

    Liked by 1 person

    • One of my biggest problems growing up has been learning to live with what others said about me and to not take everything people say as the truth. Sometimes even the ones we love say things that hurt and that’s the hardest feeling to overcome
      Andrew

      Liked by 1 person

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