I Was Taught To Hate Myself

Between the ages of 4 and 18
I was taught to hate myself.
Every mirror was a method of torture
a reflection of all
I was told was insufficient

I hated my body
before I knew what it could do
I fought with my emotions
made mistakes I can’t undo

I told myself
tomorrow they’ll stop talking
but the voices never would
I was begging them for silence
Wanted to silence them for good

I made promises
and broke them
Couldn’t meet my expectations
I was a catalogue of failure
in a broken generation

I was called so many things
with words I didn’t even know
Yet they hurt me with their venom
every word they chose to throw

Guess they didn’t understand
That’s not why we call it ‘break’
Thought they had to smash my spirit
Make me feel like a mistake

I was taught to hate myself
between age 4 and age 18
just a monster in the mirror
every day was Halloween

~ Andrew
Update: 09/01/2018, made some minor changes but I feel the poem is a lot closer to something I would feel happy with now

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2 responses to “I Was Taught To Hate Myself

  1. I’m gobsmacked Andrew! Your poem brought me to tears….
    My Mother did so much to me I hated myself for many years. This poem resonated with me. I went for a lot of counselling & I LOVE & accept myself today…..no one has the right to damage us….
    Hold onto EVERY positive comment & compliment you receive. YOU are a wonderful, intelligent, talented, creative man….PERIOD!
    Keep on writing & keep on ‘keeping on’ ok????
    {{{hugs}}} Sherri-Ellen

    Like

  2. Not sure how you got to this point but poetry comes from the soul and it seems like you carry scars. Life has taught me never to judge people by anything other than there actions. You are an intelligent human being, that much is obvious mistakes can be put aside by people who love you, just a case of reaching out.

    Like

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