My Panic Attack

I know something’s wrong
as my brain disconnects
and these thoughts in my head
become pain in my chest
and I lose track of life
as I fall into hell
and the boy to my right
says I think he’s not well.

I’m escorted, I think,
taken out of the class
and sat on my own
waiting for it to pass

They blame dehydration
but won’t call it by name
a panic attack
and my mind is to blame.

~ Andrew
Edit: Changed the title (My First Panic Attack) after remembering another time when I believe I had a panic attack a few months beforehand although I’m not 100% certain on it, just changing the title to make sure it’s definitely accurate.
For TimeToTalk day 2018 I want to open up about my mental health. I don’t think I’ve explicitly said I suffer from anything specific although the themes of my poetry should give some indication.
If I’m completely honest I don’t know what state my mental health is in. I’ve seen Doctors, been to counselling and all I seem to be doing is collecting labels. GAD, Depression, Panic Attacks. Even then I don’t feel qualified to call these things by name. I hid the fact I was receiving counselling from my parents because I was ashamed.
I am a huge supporter of the movement to increase awareness of mental health and to break down the stigma against it, as always I’ve provided a set of useful links for anyone who may be struggling:

Suicide Hotlines:
UK: 116 123 (Samaritans) – or email jo@samaritans.org
USA: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) – (National Suicide Prevention Helpline)
Rest of the World: Hotlines

Time to Talk:
Support Someone
Tips For Talking

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2 responses to “My Panic Attack

  1. Bless your heart Andrew….I knew you had ‘something’ going on….I did not want to say anything here…
    Your poem is stunning & stark & I RELATE!
    I have GAD & Clinical depression that I can not take meds for. I throw them up, so I have to slog thru my Depression as best I can….
    I am in Counselling again for the PTSD/GAD/PNES seizures.
    Do not worry about the labels; they are just guidelines so the Doctors/ Counsellors can help us properly.
    And you have NOTHING to be ashamed of Andrew. I applaud you for going to counselling; for getting help; for caring enough about yourself to get help.
    If you ever want to email me let me know….We can have ‘chats’ if you want.
    Sending you supportive (((hugs))) Sherri-Ellen

    Like

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