My Panic Attack

I know something’s wrong
as my brain disconnects
and these thoughts in my head
become pain in my chest
and I lose track of life
as I fall into hell
and the boy to my right
says I think he’s not well.

I’m escorted, I think,
taken out of the class
and sat on my own
waiting for it to pass

They blame dehydration
but won’t call it by name
a panic attack
and my mind is to blame.

~ Andrew
Edit: Changed the title (My First Panic Attack) after remembering another time when I believe I had a panic attack a few months beforehand although I’m not 100% certain on it, just changing the title to make sure it’s definitely accurate.
For TimeToTalk day 2018 I want to open up about my mental health. I don’t think I’ve explicitly said I suffer from anything specific although the themes of my poetry should give some indication.
If I’m completely honest I don’t know what state my mental health is in. I’ve seen Doctors, been to counselling and all I seem to be doing is collecting labels. GAD, Depression, Panic Attacks. Even then I don’t feel qualified to call these things by name. I hid the fact I was receiving counselling from my parents because I was ashamed.
I am a huge supporter of the movement to increase awareness of mental health and to break down the stigma against it, as always I’ve provided a set of useful links for anyone who may be struggling:

Suicide Hotlines:
UK: 116 123 (Samaritans) – or email
USA: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) – (National Suicide Prevention Helpline)
Rest of the World: Hotlines

Time to Talk:
Support Someone
Tips For Talking


One response to “My Panic Attack

  1. Bless your heart Andrew….I knew you had ‘something’ going on….I did not want to say anything here…
    Your poem is stunning & stark & I RELATE!
    I have GAD & Clinical depression that I can not take meds for. I throw them up, so I have to slog thru my Depression as best I can….
    I am in Counselling again for the PTSD/GAD/PNES seizures.
    Do not worry about the labels; they are just guidelines so the Doctors/ Counsellors can help us properly.
    And you have NOTHING to be ashamed of Andrew. I applaud you for going to counselling; for getting help; for caring enough about yourself to get help.
    If you ever want to email me let me know….We can have ‘chats’ if you want.
    Sending you supportive (((hugs))) Sherri-Ellen


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