A Mind Forever Anxious

Waking, shaking,
sweat dripping down.
Vision is blurred
as I come to my senses.

Muscles tight
and breathing hard,
my body puts up
its defences.

The dark in my room
is an ominous sign
as I fumble
to turn on the light

as the dark disappears
and my busy mind clears,
I am calm
with the bulb burning bright.

~ Andrew
I was going to go for a simple title like Nightmare (already done one of those) but I felt I could get a bit more ambitious with my titles and maybe give a little meaning to them as I’ve often held back in this regard.

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City

Twisting turning maze,
buildings looming overhead,
lost amongst strangers

~ Andrew
Been in the city recently – Made a lot of navigational errors which is very unlike me though I think the nerves from job interviews may have clouded my directional judgement

My Tears Don’t Matter

Men don’t cry,
I tell myself
whilst wiping tears away,
I hide inside my room and weep
can’t keep the streams at bay.

The rivers they come rolling
the waterfalls beat down,
my pillow is the plunge pool
but I fear my mind will drown.

There are oceans of emotions,
crashing waves of my distress.
I feel my tears don’t matter;
like my thoughts are something less.

All this time my mind is sinking
but these feelings I dismiss,
as my tears run down my face
and as I scream in the abyss.

~ Andrew
Somewhat inspired by the anime ‘Your Lie In April’

Monster

Every day I look into the mirror,
don’t know what I expected to see,
but staring right back is a monster
and I know that the monster is me.

He has the same eyes that I’m used to
wears the same type of clothes as I do.
He is vile and foul, wears a violent scowl
these are his eyes that I’m looking through

I could lie and tell you that he caught me
but it’s not like I bothered to flee
He devoured my soul when he swallowed me whole
and now darkness is all that I see

I accepted the life I was given
Now I watch as each day passes by
I want to break out of this prison
but I can’t find a reason to try.

~ Andrew
Somewhat inspired by the finale of Season 3 of Lucifer but also by the thoughts inside my head too.

A Mind Ablaze

My mind is full of tinted glass
so no one looks inside.
I wish that they could see me
but there’s still a great divide.

My mind has soundproof panels
so that no one hears my screams.
It keeps my thoughts from echoing
and cages all my dreams.

My mind has pretty colours
from the outside looking in,
but I can’t even see them
they lie deeper than my skin.

It’s almost like I radiate
and others can admire
but you can’t have burning beacons bright
without a raging fire.

~ Andrew
Been busy with my project submission, University coming to a close and watching lots of anime but I think this captures my mind recently

Restless

A hundred names are on my mind
as I’m lying in my bed
and I give them my attention
but I’d rather sleep instead

I’m awake and yet I’m dreaming
I bring echoes of the past
but like every fading echo
they will dissipate too fast

I am sick of lying here
without rest without release
let me fall into my slumber
give me comfort give me peace

~ Andrew
I have a fair amount of trouble sleeping. Some days I fall asleep out of nowhere, often when I don’t intend to (I have to be lying down for it to happen but it can be frustrating)

2 Haiku About Winter

~ Winter Comes
The world has gone cold,
As the snow begins to fall.
Winter makes its mark

~ Racing Winter 
Icy breaths erupt
A sharp pain within my lungs
Running in Winter

~ Andrew
Looking out at the snow got me in the mood for some winter themed Haiku, nothing flashy but I thought I’d put them in a post together since they share the same point of inspiration