A Mind Forever Anxious

Waking, shaking,
sweat dripping down.
Vision is blurred
as I come to my senses.

Muscles tight
and breathing hard,
my body puts up
its defences.

The dark in my room
is an ominous sign
as I fumble
to turn on the light

as the dark disappears
and my busy mind clears,
I am calm
with the bulb burning bright.

~ Andrew
I was going to go for a simple title like Nightmare (already done one of those) but I felt I could get a bit more ambitious with my titles and maybe give a little meaning to them as I’ve often held back in this regard.

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A Mind Ablaze

My mind is full of tinted glass
so no one looks inside.
I wish that they could see me
but there’s still a great divide.

My mind has soundproof panels
so that no one hears my screams.
It keeps my thoughts from echoing
and cages all my dreams.

My mind has pretty colours
from the outside looking in,
but I can’t even see them
they lie deeper than my skin.

It’s almost like I radiate
and others can admire
but you can’t have burning beacons bright
without a raging fire.

~ Andrew
Been busy with my project submission, University coming to a close and watching lots of anime but I think this captures my mind recently

Disconnected

I wish my mind
would put the disco
back into disconnect
because if there is a party in my mind
then I obviously wasn’t invited

When my mind switches
from me to empty
I am forced to live on the surface
one heavy breeze away
from being blown off my own body

but I do not own my body.

There is a cable,
some form of connection
probably USB
and the wires are faulty
hear that tone as my brain picks me up
and I regain control of the system.

I don’t like being turned off
because I take a while to boot up
and there aren’t a lot of hours in the day
and there are too many reasons
to lay in bed.

I live as a program
but I don’t run as expected
just an empty shell,
on auto pilot
mind and body disconnected.

~ Andrew
Not a lot to say here, my mind is a little bit faulty and some days it just feels like I wasn’t even there.

My Mind’s Creation

Every night.
You. Me.
Be it stations or concerts
my mind is set free.
You put me through hell
give me nightmares and pain
but you’re just a creation
of my unconscious brain.

You have familiar faces
and familiar sounds,
with familiar smells
or familiar grounds.
You’re not quite the same
though you’ve tricked me before
I’ll wake up in a moment,
take control back once more.

~ Andrew
My 16th poem of NaPoWriMo. This one focused around my dreams, particularly the more immersive ones (that sometimes carry through into the first few moments after I’m awake – I can often lie down again, close my eyes and see what would have happened next

Tidy Your Mind

My brain is demanding
That I tidy my mind
delving into dusty depths,
see what I find

a pile of memories,
I’d rather forget,
my friend of ten years
and the first time we met,

an emotional landfill
of discarded ideas,
the crushes now crushed
in my misguided tears

alone in the corner,
that lie, he’s okay,
he just hates me for speaking
he still hates me today.

And under the bed,
that my mind occupies,
is a pile of thoughts,
innovations, disguised,

by the world of society,
restrictions, limitations,
that prevent my ideas
from becoming creations.

Then beyond that the closet,
as I put on my genes,
my persona created,
in the world of my dreams.

The ideal person,
once my mind is uncluttered,
by the mess of my thoughts,
it would seem that I stuttered.

For no matter how tidy,
my mind can become,
I’m creating ideas
can I offer you some?

There are elephant’s feet,
no wait, that’s my past,
why not have some bananas,
this pain cannot last,

I am tortured
by torturous tricks and deceit,
And try as I might,
it will end in defeat.

~ Andrew
I haven’t posted a poem in a while, I can’t seem to materialise anything right now but I am trying, I’ll be hoping to be more active this coming week and try to read the work of others in hopes it helps me rediscover my inspiration, this poem comes from what little inspiration my messy mind has left. Too many little ‘sparks’ not strong enough to light the fire.